The surprise party

About this video

About 2,500 years ago in China, the teacher Confucius was asked for one word to guide a whole life. He answered, as his pupils wrote it down: "What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others." Very similar sayings appear in the writings of ancient Greece, India, Persia and the Middle East, and in many traditions since. It is often called the golden rule: treat others as you would want to be treated.

The golden rule works because it makes you swap places in your head. You and the other person are alike in every way that matters: you both feel pain, you both care about your things, you both want to be listened to. So what would be wrong done to you is wrong done to them. It is a quick way of treating like cases alike.

But it can slip. Amir loves surprise parties, so for his friend Mei's birthday he plans a big one, with everyone jumping out and shouting. That is exactly how he would want to be treated. But Mei hates surprises and crowds; she would much prefer a quiet dinner with two friends. Amir followed the words of the rule and still got it wrong, because people want different things. A better way to use the rule is to swap places completely: imagine being the other person, with their likes and their fears, not just yourself standing where they stand. "How would I want to be treated if I were Mei?" gives a different answer from "How do I like birthdays?". This video goes with The Golden Rule lesson of Ethics Level 1 on Knaph.

Transcript

1. 0:00Someone asked Confucius for one word to guide a whole life.
2. 0:05What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.
3. 0:11Greece, India, Persia, the Middle East. The golden rule is everywhere.
4. 0:17Amir loves surprise parties. So he throws one for Mei. Mei hates them.
5. 0:23Not how would I want it, but how would I want it if I were Mei?
6. 0:29Swap places completely. Imagine what they would want.