Why Sami is quiet

About this video

Leo is annoyed with Sami, the new boy. In class Sami never answers questions, and in football he doesn't call for the ball. "He's rude," says Leo. "He won't even talk to us." Then the teacher tells the class something Leo didn't know: Sami's family arrived from another country three weeks ago, and Sami is still learning the language.

Suddenly Leo sees it differently. He imagines being in a school where everyone talks fast in a language he hardly knows, where questions come and he can't follow them and he is afraid of saying something wrong in front of everyone. He might keep quiet too. Imagining how things are for someone else, and feeling something of what they feel, is called empathy, or putting yourself in their shoes. It is how you do the complete swap the golden rule asks for.

Empathy does two jobs. It shows you facts you had missed: Sami isn't rude, he is struggling, and many unkind judgements come from not seeing the other side. And it moves you: once Leo feels a little of Sami's fear, he wants to help, and starts passing Sami the ball and showing him where things are.

But empathy has a weakness. It is strong for people close to us, people like us and people we can see, and weak for people far away, different from us or only in numbers. One child in a photo can move us more than a news story about thousands, and a friend's small trouble can feel bigger than a stranger's big one. That is why empathy needs reasons too: counting each person once, and asking whether a difference really matters. Empathy shines a torch; reasons remind us that people in the shadow count just as much. This video goes with the In Their Shoes lesson of Ethics Level 1 on Knaph.

Transcript

1. 0:00Sami never answers in class. He's rude, says Leo.
2. 0:05Then Leo learns Sami arrived three weeks ago, and is still learning the language.
3. 0:11Leo imagines it. Fast words he can't follow. He'd keep quiet too.
4. 0:17Empathy shows what we missed, and moves us. Leo passes him the ball.
5. 0:23But it shines brightest on people near us. Reasons count the rest.
6. 0:29Put yourself in their shoes. Then count everyone.